You open the pantry closet door and your dog walks out, wagging happily and delighted to be set free. You can’t remember when you last used the pantry or how you managed to accidentally close it without noticing she was still snuffling around the pantry floor, and you estimate that it was in the 30-60 minute range.
You laugh about it for a year and a half afterwards. One time, it happens with the bedroom closet, and only for 30 seconds.
Tonight I am cooking spaghetti with a delicious homemade sauce, and others are providing bread, salad, and fruit. I will eat good food and drink mediocre wine, and generally be merry.
… you have to pull things out of their butt. Like a long hair, or plastic, or what looks like a tiny rolled up leaf or chrysalis but is probably actually a little piece of garbage that they ate out of the bathroom trash yesterday. Sometimes, you just have to help them out, using the plastic pooper scooper bag.
Happy 14th birthday Kalayna! This might be the last one…
So here’s this amazing joke that I think is frickin’ hilarious. I told it to some friends who were around Saturday night and nobody got it, and then when I explained, nobody laughed. Anybody in my readership get it? Eh?
Q. What did 50 Cent say when Eminem made him an afghan for his birthday?
A. “Gee, you knit?”
Say it out loud, see if that helps…